Stress

Stress

                Your alarm clock did not go off, you still have to take a shower, wake up your children, fix them breakfast, and take them to school because they were too late to catch the bus, and you must do all of this before 8:00 a.m. You arrive at work ten minutes late and your boss is standing at your desk waiting for you and he looks very angry. “I told you that you had to be here at 8:00 for our meeting about your next piece and you’re ten minutes late! There is no excuse for tardiness! If you don’t clean your act up, you will be fired!” You reply with a “Yes sir! I do apologize for my absence and will make sure it never happens again!” You set down at your desk, relieved, but then realize that you are starving, did not get your morning coffee, forgot to pay the utility bill, have a never-ending stack of work on your desk, have divorce court at 2:00 p.m., you forgot your purse at home, and to top it all off you spoke to your boss with your shirt buttoned up completely wrong! Many people in this situation sometimes wish that they were still a child. Not a care in the world except which toy to play with first and who to sit by on the bus! What most people don’t realize is that your children can show signs of stress as well for various reasons.

                Children may as stress the same as adults do, they are just unsure of how to express and deal with their feelings the way adults do. Different children, depending upon their level of stress will show different symptoms when under stress. When a child is under a lot of stress they may act out at home or in school.  Acting out could include stealing, lying, violence, irritation, and class disruption. Other times a child might express depression, a lack in appetite; they may become whiney or clingy, or lose interest in homework and socialization.  They could also complain about body aches, feeling sick, and having trouble sleeping.

If you notice one of these symptoms or all of these symptoms you might be thinking, “Why is my child under so much stress?” Just because your kid doesn’t have to worry about what bill his or her next pay check has to go to doesn’t mean the kid doesn’t have a reason to be stressed. There are many different reasons a child could be upset. Maybe there is a bully in school that is picking on the child and this bully is telling him or her not to say anything. It is also possible that he or she is worried about how they might fit in at school with other people. Make sure to let your children know that you are able to help them in any way that you can and that you’re ready to listen and give advice. Another reason your child could be acting out is separation anxiety, which is usually short term. If your child is used to having you there and suddenly you are not there all the time anymore, that could cause them to act out such as crying and class disruption. Also, sometimes parents may not think that their children know about the stressful things that they are going through, but sometimes they overhear what you think they can’t hear. Make sure to think twice when you are talking about your financial burdens with other spouses, friends, or family members because there is a possibility that your child could hear you and sense that those things stress you out. When a child notices weakness in a parent like that it can scare them.

Make sure to communicate with your children as much as possible. Help them with their homework, ask them how their day was, set aside family board game nights, and have family dinner at the kitchen table. As long as your child knows that you are there to help them and give them advice in any way that you can, they will come to you with their problems.  If you notice that your child is acting out of the ordinary, such as disrupting class and being agitated, confront him or her about the problems that are occurring. Many times just talking to someone about their problem can relieve a lot of stress.